Great Expectations

I decided to get a massage. I was a little (OK, a lot) on edge about the move, finding an apartment, finding a car, and starting a new job; I wanted some stress relief and relaxation time. Unfortunately, off-post beauty shops are off limits to Military for the suspicious happenings that take place "in the back." Luckily, there are a few salons on-post that are available to use. I happened to stumble on one in the hotel where I was staying - perfect! I walked in and made an appointment for the next day at 5:00pm. I was looking forward to my one-hour full body massage. In fact, I couldn't wait!

Day of Massage:
Red flag #1: I knew something was wrong when the masseuse (a Korean) walked me into a room where someone else was already getting a massage. There were three massage tables in one open room!

Red flag #2: She asked me to undress down to my underwear - but didn't leave the room to give me privacy. So, I undressed in front of her, the other masseuse, and the other client. WEIRD! I should have left then.

She had me lay face-up, slathered (and I mean that) her hands in lotion, and started rubbing my chest - boobs and all. I giggled, and giggled, and giggled some more. She thought I was ticklish! WRONG! I just couldn't believe what was actually happening! After what felt like 20 minutes, she moved on to my stomach. Also something new to me, but at least not as weird! The rest of the massage was pretty uneventful, but even the technique was very different from back in the States. I was lucky I didn't have any bruises the next day - this woman BEAT the stress out of my muscles (sometimes she smacked me so hard that the crazy amount of lotion she used flew into my face).

Needless to say, I didn’t relax during the entire hour.